John Edwards' Man Camp: Molding Metrosexuals Since 2004

John Edwards wants YOU! John Edwards' School of Macho Metrosexual Manliness has been instructing the less fair gender in the arts of metrosexuality since 2004 with a proven track record. Admission is as cheap as a campaign contribution, and the course work takes less time to complete than a presidential campaign.

So what can John Edwards' School of Macho Metrosexual Manliness teach you? At John Edwards' School you will learn how to attack your enemies without fear of reprisal. Moreover, you will learn how to groom yourself so immaculately that even the most self-absorbed coxcomb popinjay will find you sickeningly effeminate. Intrigued? Then read on.

Your first lesson at John Edwards' School is the art of self-manipulation. Being this pretty doesn't come easy- at least not to most folks who aren't named John Edwards. That is why our school has over 100 cosmetologists on staff to instruct you in the fine arts of make-up application, hair design, and the appropriate manner in which to use hair gel. Normal men are often oblivious to these important techniques, but there is no reason for you to continue to wander in the abyss of ignorance. Sign up today and we'll include a FREE make-up mirror!

Did you know you're probably neglecting your most important tool in the climb to becoming metrosexually marvelous! Did you know that your wife is more useful as a mouthpiece, than as simply someone else you can borrow make-up from? In this sexist world men often fear to attack ladies, and if you are fortunate enough to have a wife with an important sounding disease (i.e. cancer, lupus, G.E.R.D.) who would dare say anything negative about her even if she walked up and insulted their momma?


So why not have her attack your enemies and insult your adversaries? With such a strategy you don't have to fear any reprisals and you can easily push her to the side when the time comes to hog all the glory at the podium. Take a lesson from our Chancellor and namesake John Edwards....

When our distinguished leader was vaguely referred to as a "faggot" his wife called in to confront Ann Coulter.

When our noted guru was behind in the polls to Hillary, his wife called out Hillary on her womanhood.

When Obama started gaining ground on the meticulously coifed one, it was his wife who pointed out that the novelty of race was irrelevant.

When Obama stole Edward's 2004 primary Shtick, it was Mrs. Edwards who pointed it out to the media.

And when it came time to confront the biggest name in talk radio, it was Mrs. Edwards who questioned El Rushbo's ability to hold job that requires him to sit for hours at a time when he was exempted from military service in Vietnam. (Makes perfect sense to me!)

You see, bravery gets you nowhere. Why risk messing up your hair and your public image, not to mention retaliation by your enemies, when you can simply have your wife do the hard work while you reap the electoral rewards?

Enroll today and we will include a free book entitled, "How to Win Friends and Chase Ambulances." It is your guide on how to get rich off the misery of others. The books comes with your very own replica John Edwards comb and make-up mirror. Sign up today, while supplies last!