Hi, my name is Mahmoud Admadinejad. I know it is hard to pronounce so you guys can just call me "Spanky." After all that is what my Iranian school yard chums nicknamed me.

Listen, I just wanted to stop by and let you know that I'm not all that bad of a guy. Sure the Bush administration is out to paint me as a tyrant and a fascist, but hey, we all know he is really the evil one. Right? Good, now that we have the pleasantries aside, I have some important things to talk about with you, the American people.

If you've been too busy ogling scantily clad women in the streets of your American cities you might not have noticed that I've been spending some time with Russian President Vladimir Putin. But our alliance isn't about taking over the West or usurping America's place in the world, and it isn't even about how good "Vladi"looks without his shirt off.

Umm, not that I've noticed or anything...I just...err...we were just attending this Democratic debate and well...don't ask, don't tell.

The point is you've been misled by your leaders- President Bush and that doughy guy whose name I always forget, is it Karl Cheney? Dick Roving? They want to take your attention off the real enemies that all of us- East and West, U.S. and Iran- share. That is why I am writing you today.

The following people are a threat to both the U.S. and the Islamic Republic of Iran....

Public Enemy #5 (Yes my letter is also a cheesy count down list, so sue me)

I know this guy's wife has breast cancer, but I have to wonder if at some point in the past he had testicular cancer. Why do I ask that question? Well because it appears, at least to my well trained Iranian eyes, that he has no balls. He puts his non-hajib covered wife out in public to do all his dirty work. I mean, what kind of cowardice is this? When I want to declare how I will wipe Israel off the map, I don't send Mrs. Admadinejad out there to say it for me. I step up to the podium, breath deeply the dung infested air of my sweet homeland, and shout it in the evil Zionists' collective face.

Until he grows a pair, he shall remain on my list.

Public Enemy # 4

I might be from Iran where the camels' behinds look tempting and the women's faces look like a camel's behind, but even to me this guy is ugly. And I don't mean plain ol' he makes me sick to my stomach ugly. I mean, lock up the kids, hide the livestock, and cover your eyes, someone has opened the Arc of the Covenant ugly.

I heard somewhere that one of your American whores...I mean women...married this man? Is this true? If so I guess Allah could not punish her anymore, so maybe she deserves an after life. If only women had souls.

Public Enemy #3

With this guy talking about closing down the internet and outlawing Christianity, he is starting to make me look open minded. And NO ONE makes Mahmoud look open-minded.

Although, I must admit I am curious (and not in the same way Elton was at one point) why this homosexual infidel is so closed minded? After all, doesn't he know that here in the glorious Peoples Republic of Iran he would be the recipient of all the stones he could carry home. In case you didn't know, in Iran we have a very generous policy toward homosexuals. When we find them we give them a proper Koranic stoning. Sorry, that is an inside joke among me and my not-so revolutionary guard.

Public Enemy # 2

This guy drives me crazy. When is he going to say something of substance? I mean, I don't run around saying "We all need to be empowered to achieve our goals" and other vague happy-feel-good guru crap like that, I just say, "We will annihilate the Zionist oppressors!"

I would rather read a book by that pudgy infidel Dr. Phil than sit through another Obama speech. And that says a lot, because here in Iran we hate Dr. Phil. A fat guy selling a weight loss book, that is such an infidel thing to do.

Public Enemy #1

Oh goodness, these guys stand for everything I hate. I bet Dr. Phil is under one of those hoods!

Well thank you for taking the time to read my letter. Hopefully we now have a better understanding of each other. I hope you know that I don't desire to rule the whole world- just most of it. And my nuclear ambitions are entirely peaceful- what? No, I so did not have my fingers crossed when I said that. Whatever.

Coming Soon: The Republican Candidates: Contenders, Pretenders, or Dead-enders.


And: How to Know When the Black Helicopters are Coming for You!

Bush Derangement Syndrome is a serious illness. Luckily, it is only contagious among those with weak minds- those with normal mental function aren't at serious risk. Yet, it is still beneficial to know the symptoms of B.D.S. Knowing how to identify a B.D.S sufferer can often mean the difference between preserving your valuable time and wasting several hours in vain attempts at dialogue.

What should you look for?

Symptom #1. Although not all B.D.S. sufferers present in the same way, some cases are apparent from even a distance. Your first and most obvious clue are the ridiculously over-sized props. Whether it be G.W. masks, globes, or crowns- the B.D.S. sufferer seems to enjoy props that are disproportionately large. Notice how a class room size globe wouldn't suffice for this man to the left. Instead he has a globe the size of a swiss ball.

This desire for disproportionate props also permeates their thought patterns. For the B.D.S. sufferer, President Bush, isn't just a bad president, he doesn't simply make bad choices. No. In their mind Bush is evil (and not just regular old evil, but the kind of evil pronounced E-e-e-e-v-v-v-i-i-i-i-l-l-l-l-l-l!). Spend enough time among them and you will find that almost all of those afflicted with B.D.S. will eventually compare Bush and Hitler.

WARNING: Do not attempt to discuss the actual merits of their claim(s). Such discussions will only lead to you being labeled a fascist.

Symptom #2. B.D.S. often causes the carrier to go on and on about peace. This, in and of itself, isn't problematic. However, if you engage them in conversation about achieving peace, their response will almost always be nonsensical and borderline insane. For example, when asked how to obtain peace in our world, the B.D.S. afflicted might say any of the following:

"You can't hug your child with nuclear arms"; "No wars for oil";
"Shoplift for peace"; or even "How dare you ask that you fascist!"

Symptom #3. Their wild ideas about shoplifting to achieve peace are only rivaled by their borderline loony belief in almost any conspiracy theory that alleges G.W. Bush masterminded insidious plot X. X can be anything from hurricane Katrina to 9/11. Even without wild conspiracies, they routinely blame any bad occurrence, mundane or extreme, on G.W. In private B.D.S. carriers are known to blame President Bush for problems ranging from poor penmanship to impotence.

Symptom #4. This balding guy to the left is none other than Karl Rove. Despite his paunchy middle aged harmless white guy look, B.D.S. causes its victims to see this man as the mastermind behind all evil in the world.

It has been reported that some severe cases actually believe that Karl Rove has a mind control device hidden in the White House which he uses to brainwash the masses. However, to avoid the influence of its harmful Republican rays you need only wear one of these special hats shown to the right. Admittedly the model shown here is quite pricey and only available to the likes of George Soros, but you can make your own by simply folding over a sheet of tin foil several times.

Symptom #5. B.D.S. severely addles the brain leading
to a decrease in vocabulary and a preference toward vulgar language. Combined with their acute loss of any semblance of a sense of humor, the effects can
be devastating. B.D.S. causes people who might otherwise be rational to become venom spewing Daily Kos/Huffington Post automatons. Attempts to engage them in dialogue are useless- not because they can't be convinced otherwise, but because daring to disagree with them will incur their wrath. If you do attempt to dialogue be prepared to deal with near endless streams of profanity, multiple (and incorrect) uses of the term "fascist," and the words "BushCo.," "Halliburton," and "9/11 was an inside job."

I hope this brief listing of some of the symptoms of B.D.S. helps you to prepare for any and all unavoidable encounters with these poor souls. However, if you wish to see them confront logic for a brief moment I encourage you to ask them these questions:

"Is Bush stupid? [They will invariably answer yes, and maybe call him "shrub."]
"Is he the mastermind behind 9/11? [They will most likely tell you, yes, he was.]
Now ask, "How can such a stupid man contrive and pull off the biggest and most ridiculously complex conspiracy in the history of the world?"
Sit back and watch for a second as the hamster spins his wheel furiously inside their skull, but don't get too excited, because soon enough they will simply blurt out, "Karl Rove!"

COMING NEXT...

Bush Derangement Syndrome- The latest illness to sweep the nation. Could you be a carrier?

Exercise caution. With a little knowledge you too can spot a B.D.S. carrier before it is too late. But be warned, B.D.S. strikes indiscriminately. Being young or beautiful or even tenured university faculty doesn't mean you can't catch this horrid intellectually crippling disease. Stay tuned for more...

As you all know by now, the Democratic candidates took part in a debate sponsored by a GLBT (Gay, Lesbian, Bi-Sexual, and Trans-gender) group and broadcast on a cable channel targeted toward the GLBT crowd. Surprising isn't it? Apparently there is no interest group too small that Democratic candidates won't show up for a debate in their very own special forum (unless that interest group is people who watch Fox News- screw them!). The GLBT community did their part by tuning into the debate on the gayest cable channel available (and I don't mean Lifetime).

The debate opened with a loud round of applause when noted homosexual singer Elton John asked the candidates, "What are you going to do about organized religion that promotes hatred and spite against gays?"

Barrack Obama stated that he would meet with evangelical leaders who promoted anti-gay spite.

Presidential front-runner, Hillary Clinton, called Obama's comments irresponsible and instead suggested that her administration would not be used as a tool for propaganda purposes, while agreeing that "we need to get back to diplomacy."

The next question came from the cast of the long since canceled childrens' television show, Teletubbies. One character who identified himself as Tinky Winky asked Senator Edwards what he would do about the lack of Gay characters on television.

To which Edwards responded, "I am really not comfortable around you. But if I must answer your question, what more could I do? I mean you folks already have Will & Grace reruns, Queer Eye, Ellen reruns AND the Ellen day time talk show, Friends, and that L-word show."

Edwards comments were greeted with boos from the mostly leather clad audience.

In an attempt to circumvent the debate's one question per person rule, Sir Elton snuck back in disguised as noted cartoon character Donald Duck. A cartoon character who, aptly enough, routinely dressed in a sailor suit. Weirdly appropriate, eh?

Sir Elton, due to his status in the Gay community was allowed another question. He used this last opportunity to ask, "Will you consider closing down the internet?"

Rep. Kucinich fielded the question, responding, "Under my proposed socialist government Americans can expect less freedom, and that includes government control over the internet."

A representative of the Teacher's Union was next to the microphone. In a slow and halting voice he asked, "More money, me want. Give me more!"

New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson replied, "Thank you for asking such a thoughtful question. As you know I support a nationwide mandate that would require all states to pay even the most incompetent teachers fresh out of college $40,000 a year [BTW I wish I was making this part up]."

Unsatisfied with such a low amount of pay for America's [gay] teachers the crowd hissed with anger. Picking up on this Senator Dodd promised to pay all teachers, "One Mil-l-l-l-l-l-l-i-i-o-n dollars."

Soon thereafter it was discovered that yet again Elton had snuck in, but this time we was accompanied by his long time partner. Both men came dressed in military uniforms. As they were both escorted out, one can only guess what question they had in mind.

This blogger thinks it probably dealt with gays in the military. Specifically, would gays in the military be allowed to use the internet. Sadly, as he wasn't allowed to ask his question we will never know how the Democratic candidates would have responded.

As what might be affectionately and accurately dubbed "the gayest debate ever" drew to a close vaunted superhero Captain Gay approached the microphone. He voiced his concern regarding the portrayal, or lack thereof, of gay superheroes in the mainstream media.

John Edwards refused to answer his question- as the site of a gay man wearing only a cape was far too creepy for his boyish eyes to bear.

Senator Clinton took this chance to promise more superheroes like Colossus, Wiccan, Batwoman, and Catwoman. She went on to propose "tax incentives for Stan Lee and other comic book writers to include more gay characters in comic books." Even this very gay crowd was already tired and responded with only mild applause.

The last question of the night came from two representatives of the Los Angeles gay Asian community. Both men were concerned with the limited availability of full bodied g-string bathing suits (as seen in the picture to the right).

Senator Obama affirmed their concerns when he responded, "I've seen that Borat movie, and it left me with the same question. Where can I get one of those full bodied G-string bathing suits? I looked everywhere, from Victoria's Secret to Wal-mart, but to no avail. This is clearly a case of anti-gay discrimination and you can trust it will be remedied by my administration."

The debate was over, but before I could ask the attendees for their opinions almost everyone had left the building. I say almost because I was able to find this gay man in the parking lot outside the convention center.

When asked about the debate he muttered, "Wham! Those were the days."

[This post brought to you by the brilliant mind (and body) behind the Total Transformation Challenge.]

Continuation of a Meme posted on TotalTransformation...(Go there for the details of why this weird guys photo is posted on this blog)...

Well wouldn't you know I struck gold with my first hit on Google Images. Meet John "Kaiser" McKay.

John "Kaiser" McKay is the only man in the history of Scotland to have a LIFETIME restraining order placed against him by a Scottish court. Why would this obviously fine upstanding citizen have a lifetime restraining order? Good question.

The Edinburgh News has this to say:

"Over the years, McKay has built up a notorious reputation for repeatedly assaulting and threatening store and restaurant staff, shoppers, residents and tourists in the city centre. He has also attacked police and paramedics and hurled racist abuse at passers-by. In 1998, McKay was sentenced to five years in jail for a vicious bottle attack at The Mound, which left his victim with a gaping eight-centimetre neck wound.

Police and council chiefs built up a dossier of violence and disorder carried out by McKay, whose infamy earned him the nicknames of "Kaiser" and "King of the Beggars", reflecting his status among the city's street drinkers and beggars." [1]

No offense to the Scottish, but to be labeled as the worst among Scottish drinkers is saying a lot- hear me soccer hooligans? Yeah, sure, his given last name isn't really Kaiser, but when you find someone like this you can make exceptions.

Fellow blogger Ed Darrell took issue with my last post, stating:

"It's a sure shot that no one can ever approach George W. Bush as a genuine friend."

Well I don't know about that, since I've never met him. But I do know that he isn't unapproachable. Over on Google Images one can find plenty of photos of G.W. Bush sharing embraces with numerous people- politicians and us common folk alike. And in honor of Mr. Darrell, today I give you the Bush hug-a-thon.

"Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you[.]" Matthew 5:44.

Even after a hard fought primary (and some cheap tricks on his part), G.W. was gracious enough to share this hug with his arch-nemesis, John "straight talk express [to nowhere]" McCain. Admittedly, McCain seems to be more into this hug than G.W. After all, McCain is giving el presidente a gentle rub on his love handles. I guess they are aptly named, eh?

So, although not conclusive evidence that one can get close to him, it is a good start.

What about this? Here we have the word "hug" enacted as an uber-verb. This might qualify as the most awkward hug ever, but there is something vulnerable and beautiful about two men running at each other (I guess we missed the part where they ran through the field of daisies with arms out stretched) to complete the simple act of hugging. But we are left with many questions? Will there be ear-to-ear rubbing? Will their hips be kept at a proper distance? Will the hug be completed with a manly pat on the shoulder blades or a lingering lower back rub? Let's hope for the former.

Having conclusively proven that The E-v-i-l Emperor is quite approachable and "huggable," you might ask, "is there more"? Yes. Not only can this president hug, he can multi-task while hugging. Here we see him shaking hands with voters while hugging AND consoling an obviously distraught woman. Notice how he offers his shoulder to this woman, while offering the ear on the opposite side to a concerned gray haired man.

Ed, care to admit you were partially wrong? It appears that not only can you get close to him, he might even give you a shoulder to cry on. Perhaps Ed he would understand your sadness over the curriculum at religious schools? It's okay, you can tell G.W., it isn't like he will run and tell Jerry Falwell or Pat Robertson- well definitely not the former.

It appears his crying-on shoulder is well used. Wait a minute,
is she crying, or is he involved in some nefarious BushCo.-Halliburton plot to silence anti-war protesters? Let's look closer.

Oh, goodness, maybe Ed was right. Possibly this is some evil BushCo.- Halliburton evil deed (since G.W. Bush is involved I had to use the word "evil" twice). Where is the HuffingtonPost when you need them? Won't The Nation come in and help this young girl suffering at the hands of Der Fuhrer Bush?

Wait, I suspect someone else behind this, or maybe two someones. Hmmm....who could have masterminded this? And no the answer isn't Karl Rove. The answer isn't Dick Cheney, I blame these guys....

Wait, I wasn't even going to go there, I swear. I was going to blame some other guys. But if these guys are here, might as well ask the question. Are these two behind the giant right-wing conspiracy? Are they controlling the strings of BushCo.?

More importantly, are they helping George Bush open up to "embracing" the common man? Have they taught him to open his cold Republican heart, and be a genuine friend?

Well judging by Google Images there are no documented hugs between Bush and Rove, or Bush and Cheney, but there is this one curious image...
...
...
...

What is this? Bush hugging an environmentalist, a union enabler, and a Democrat? Perhaps he did learn something from the two John's. Maybe, like the Grinch before him, his heart grew several sizes? I don't know for sure. But he seems willing to be approached and embrace even his adversaries. And as bad as the McCain-Bush hug above might be...(I'll wait while you scroll back up)...it is still nowhere near as creepy as this....
....
....
....
....

There is something very strange about this hug. Maybe it is the firm grasp Edwards has on Kerry's lower back (not his shoulder blade- the proper position for the hand during a man-on-man hug), or maybe it is the "aww shucks I've been waiting for this hug all my life Daddy" look on his oh so young and well groomed face. For me I think it is just that cap on his head that paints the whole situation in such a way that I search for the right word to describe this odd picture. But if a good picture is worth a thousand words, maybe I can replace an appropriate word, with an appropriate picture. For me, this hug (the one to the right...your other right) is about as manly as this....
...
...
...
Okay, maybe the above picture is an understatement. But it is the best I could do.

[Caveats: I am no Bush supporter- I reluctantly voted for the man in 2000 because the other choice was much worse. As far as I am concerned he is not even close to deserving the religious fundamentalist or a right-winger labels consistently applied to him by the press. If he did, I might actually support him. He is also no lover of the Constitution, instead, he is yet another statist set on bending our precious document to fit his ends.

Although, as of late, I find myself liking him less and less, I still refuse to be infected with that rather virulent disease known as B.D.S. (Bush Derangement Syndrome). Symptoms include ascribing every evil and tragedy in the world to G.W. Bush, imagining that Karl Rove has magical or even semi-magical powers, using the words "fascist" and/or "Halliburton" and/or "BushCo." more than a dozen times a day.....

You know what, I think I will just turn this subject into another post for later on in the week. Sorry to leave you hanging.]

The Love that Dare Not Speak its Name...

Ironically this quote is taken from a poem by Oscar Wilde entitled "Two loves." A lot like two America's, eh? That won't be the last time you chuckle. For the tale of love and intimacy between these two men is strong and endearing to even the hardest and most frigid Republican heart. So enjoy these images that display to the world the love these two men had for each other. How far did this love go? You decide.


What is friend for if not comforting you when you need it most.
They understand your flaws and your strengths. They know when you are hurting and when you need a little pat on the back. And for that, they are so very special to you. When the weight of the world bears down on you, they say, "let me carry that burden." Sure, I had to take this crummy V.P. slot, but I care enough that I won't let that stand between us. They won't make the political personal, but they will make the personal imperative.


Your closeness may leave others questioning whether you are engaged in a game of gay chicken or an intimate moment? Let them wonder. Because, what this shows is two men comfortable enough with their metro-sexuality to let their lips get close enough to touching, when most mere mortal (and straight) men might cringe at the thought.

For why should societies conventions about two men being in such close proximity to one another restrain your deep bonds of....umm....friendship? It shouldn't. Societal norms are meant to be broken.

But, what makes that someone really special? They know when you just need a good hug. And they not only know instinctively that you need that hug, but they don't mind letting that hug linger and allowing a good ear-to-ear rub. For, what is a close and intimate hug without the ear-to-ear rub? Let the homophobic males hug with their hips kept well apart, and their heads separated by at least one inch- if not more. You are too good and too special to fall for that. So rejoice in your love. Let that hug linger, rub his back a little. There you go. What a beautiful site.

"Let us embrace, and from this very moment vow and eternal misery together." Thomas Otway, The Orphan.

And when others are around, what means more than quietly whispering sweet nothings in your best friends ear. Your conversations are too good for the rest of the world to share in, your secrets too private. So take pride in your conspiratorial sibilations (go ahead, look it up).

"...[I]n earthly life lovers long for the moment when they are able to breathe forth their love for each other, to let their souls blend in a soft whisper..." Soren Kierkegaard, 1843.


Ideally, your best friend should capture your admiration. Who cares if anyone else catches you admiring them with giddiness and joy. Relish his intelligence, delight in his wit, may his words ever enchant your puerile ears.

"This sort of adoration of the real,
Is but a heightening of the beau ideal."
Lord Byron, in Don Juan

And if your friend catches you smiling, all the better, so that he might know he is adored.


Yeah, sometimes you need some time away, even from your "bestest" buddy. Some time with the boys. Out in the wilderness, handling firearms, and shooting....umm....whatever that thing is.


And sometimes being a best friend means pretending you're interested in their day
and their crazy ideas about "two Americas." This often means putting your own troubles on the back burner, leaning back with an open posture, looking them in the eyes and saying, "How was your day?"

Sure, you might have to listen to a bunch of ramblings, but you can always just listen with a unipygic ear and deeply concerned eyes. You can take comfort in knowing that soon this too shall pass, and he will have fully unloaded his fears, concerns, and troubles on your shoulders. For that, your friendship will be all the stronger.

In all this time together, keep in mind always,
that your actions lead toward Victory. Sure the road may be hard, but eventually, together, you will taste the sweet ambrosia of the Gods.

"The problems of victory are more agreeable than the problems of defeat, but they are no less difficult." Winston Churchhill, 1942.

"Victory is gay only back home. Up front it is joyless." Marlene Dietrich, 1962. (Sorry, I couldn't resist).

And even if your actions don't lead toward victory there is always something more important


What is really important- no matter win or lose-
is going home together at the end of the day. Go ahead, walk off into that
brilliantly hued sunset together. Arm in arm, side-by-side, taking long
confident strides toward your future, together, as best of friends. For life
without friends like this isn't worth living.

"Two friends, two bodies with one soul inspir’d." Alexander Pope.

"Prosperity makes friends, adversity tries them." Publius Syrus, 42 B.C.

For Walking through the trials of defeat has strengthened your ties, deepened your intimacy, and validated your eternal bond as B.F.F.'s (Best Friends Forever). You are a model for all man-to-man relationships.

[This post is a parody. Any and all fun poked at John Kerry and John Edwards was intended in jest.]

News and Views...

Thomas Sowell shines light on the hard truth that events like the Minneapolis bridge collapse will happen again as long as politicians have poor incentives to act on serious matters, and greater incentives to buy votes and fund projects that the media will cover. Sowell writes:

"The real problem is that the political incentives are to spend the taxpayers' money on things that will enhance politicians' chances of getting re-elected.

There may be enough money available to maintain bridges and other infrastructure but that same money can have a bigger political pay-off if spent building something new instead of maintaining and repairing existing structures.

When money is spent building a new community center, a golf course, or anything that will be newsworthy, there will be ribbon-cutting ceremonies and the politicians who cut the ribbons can expect to see their pictures in the newspapers and on TV." [1]

Does kindness to animals imply kindness to humans? Dennis Prager makes the argument that while cruelty to animals often leads to cruelty to humans, the inverse isn't necessarily true. Kindness to animals doesn't mean kindness to humans. Any of you guys out there who have ever had a discussion with a P.E.T.A. member on any college campus know this already. The most interesting part of Prager's article is his discussion of Nazi laws AGAINST animal cruelty and their aversion to animal testing. These are the same Nazi's who performed medical testing on Jews in German concentration camps. So, apparently, not only were Jews subhuman, they weren't even worthy of the same treatment and protections as animals.

Israel Warns Against Travel in the Mid-East. Guess my travel plans are shot.

John Edward's = Phony?

"John Edwards, Man of The People, is a phony. And until I see an awful lot of stunning
evidence to the contrary, that impression is not likely to change."

Why does he think so? Well it appears that this gentleman got a chance to interact with Edwards several times and he claims that Edwards can turn on that "southern charm" like flipping on a light switch.

I met John Edwards back in 2000 (maybe it was 1999). He attended a local Wilmington Democratic Party meeting. I shook his hand once and it made my skin crawl. And no, it wasn't just because he was a trial lawyer. It was because something about him seemed so transparently fake. And before that night was over I had insulted him to his face. I think my comments included the terms "pompous wind-bag," "conceited and egotistical," and the word "slime" somewhere in there.

And how shall I leave you, my reader? How about a moment of Zen. Stare in wonder at this fat cat. Wait, I think the word fat is an understatement here. A severe understatement.

Wow, I wonder what they feed him. At least this makes me feel better about my obese cat. At least he isn't this cat. I would hate to see the food bills, much less the litter pan. Ick!

My Frustration...

Well first of all I just learned that I wasn't supposed to tell you guys to click on the adds...whoops. So, my apologies to Google, I won't do it again.

Now, I am trying to add some Google Referrals to this blog, and it seems to be the most complex and annoying process ever. It won't display the referrals I want it to, and it keeps showing ads for some herpes treatment. Ewwwww.

So please bear with me as I get everything up and running.

Okay, don't tell my wife I told you this...

If I wasn't a married man, or if polygamy was legal, I have to say that there is one woman on the news (both cable and network) that would certainly send my heart a flutter. Yeah, I know, I am phoning in this post, but that is fine. Can I get back to the topic of this post? Thanks. That one cable news woman is Robin Meade. Is this woman incredibly gorgeous or what? And if you said "or what," so help me you smart aleck!

And for those of you in this technological age that must have video, well here you go. I must warn you though, watching Robin Meade often results in the inability to watch other cable news programs. I mean, Shepard Smith is a nice enough guy, but given the choice between Shepard and Robin, is that even a choice? Sure she is probably liberal, but hey, no one is perfect.

Warning: Knee High Boots included in this Video

So radical Mormons, I have my fingers crossed that you get that whole polygamy thing recognized. Wait, on second thought, no matter how beautiful a woman is I must remember Raymond's fathers advice about dealing with more than one woman. Keep in mind I am paraphrasing here.

"If you are having problems with your wife you don't go out and get another woman. Now you just have two problems."

Then there is the sage advice of Al Bundy, when he answered a query from his wife asking whether he was cheating. Al looked her in the eyes and said:

"I don't want a second wife. A second T.V. yes. But a second wife, no way!"

Well, in that case, I guess I should go back to salivating over this.

Excuse me, but I am tearing up, this is so beautiful.

A New Beginning...

Well, I decided to resurrect this blog. While keeping up my weight loss blog, Total Transformation Test, has kept me busy lately, I can't help but feel that something is missing. So I decided to bring this blog back as I place where I can discuss the politically incorrect things that are out of place on a weight loss blog. Plus, I miss my Libertarian blogging days.

So what can you expect? Well this time around "Musings, Rants, and Monologues" will be a little less caustic, regularly updated, and always (well, often...okay...maybe sometimes) interesting. You can also expect book reviews, news updates and analysis, general updates, and some cross postings from TotalTransformationTest. Hope to see you again soon.

Update: If you want to add this blog's feed just use the following address (or click on the link on the bottom of the page).

http://jjkaiser.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default